Intermediate Chinese Talk

Hāi! Hǎo jiǔ bú jiàn

Hi! Long time no see

Xīwàng nǐmen dōu hǎo

Hope you’re all doing well

Xiǎng shuō kěyǐ gēngxīn yīxià

Thought that I could give a quick update

Kěnéng jiù bǎ wèishénme wǒ zuìjìn dōu méiyǒu PO yǐngpiàn le

Maybe explain why I haven’t posted videos lately

Biàn chéng yī táng zhōngjí de Zhōngwén kè

Turn it into an intermediate Chinese lesson

Yīnwèi... qíshí yǒu liǎng gè yuányīn a

Because... actually, there are two reasons

Jiùshì zhǔyào shì wǒ juéde wǒ de gōngzuò yǒudiǎn máng

Mainly because I think my work has been a bit busy

Jiùshì bù zhīdào nǐmen zhī bù zhīdào

Just.. I’m not sure if you know

Wǒ yīzhí dōu shì zài shàng yī duì yī de kè

I’ve been teaching one-on-one classes

Ránhòu suàn shì wǒ de quánzhí gōngzuò

And that’s basically my full-time job

Wǒ jiùshì yīzhí zhuànqián

I just kept (working to) make money

Juéde zhuànqián hěn zhòngyào

thought that making money is important

Jiùshì yīzhí shàng hěn duō de yī duì yī de kè

Just kept doing a lot of one-on-one classes

Suǒyǐ qíshí chángcháng zài gōngzuò wài de shíjiān

So actually, often outside of work hours

Juéde méiyǒu nàme duō de jīngshén kěyǐ... chuàngzuò

felt that I didn’t have that much energy to… create

búguò zhège gǎnjué yě yǒu kěnéng shì yī gè jièkǒu la

However, this feeling maybe is just an excuse

Kěshì zhēnde yǒu yībùfèn de yuányīn shì yīnwèi zhège

But really part of the reason is this

Kěshì wǒ juéde zuì dà de yuányīn jiùshì

But I think the biggest reason is

Wǒ hòulái fāxiàn wǒ hǎoxiàng méiyǒu zuò hǎo xīnlǐ zhǔnbèi

I later on realized that it seems like I wasn’t mentally prepared

Bǎ zìjǐ de liǎn fàng zài yī gè nàme gōngkāi de píngtái

To put my face out on such a public platform

Hǎoxiàng jiù xūyào bèi suǒyǒu kěyǐ kàn dào wǒ de nèiróng de rén

It’s like I need to, by everyone who can see my content,

Bèi pínglùn de gǎnjué

the feeling of being judged/commented

Juéde yǒudiǎn kěpà

(That) felt a bit scary

Suīrán zài hěn duō dà bùfèn de yǐngpiàn la

Even though in most of the videos

Huòzhě shì dà bùfèn de liúyán zài wǒ de yǐngpiàn xiàmiàn

Or most of the comments under my videos

Dōu shì fēicháng gǔlì wǒ de

Are really encouraging

Fēicháng zhèngmiàn de

really positive

Wǒ juéde hěn gǎnxiè

I feel very grateful

Bùguò jiùshì kěnéng kàn guò jǐ gè liúyán ràng wǒ juéde

But maybe just seeing a few comments made me feel

Tūrán juéde yǒudiǎn tài shòushāng le

Suddenly felt a bit too hurt

Suīrán shì... jiùshì yī diǎndiǎn la

Even though... it’s just a tiny bit

Kěnéng bǎifēn zhī yī de liúyán shì zhèyàng

Maybe only 1% of the comments are like that

Kěshì hòulái wǒ jiù fāxiàn

But later I just realized

Zěnme bàn

What should I do? (Ahhh)

Hǎoxiàng zìjǐ de xīnli juéde yǒudiǎn

It felt like emotionally I felt a little

Nán jiēshòu bèi mà

Unable to handle being criticized

Jiùshì zài wǎnglù shàng bèi mà la

Just being criticized on the internet

Wǒ juéde wǒ zìjǐ bù shì suàn shì tèbié yǒu zìxìn de rén

I don’t think I’m someone with a lot of confidence

Gǎnjué yǒu yī fāngmiàn de zìjǐ shì hái mán méiyǒu zìxìn de

Felt that part of me pretty much lacks confidence

Kěshì fǎnzhèng jiùshì

But, anyways, just that

Wǒ hòulái fāxiàn wǒ zhǐyǒu zài miànduì zhèngmiàn de pínglùn de shíhou

I later realized I only know how to respond when facing positive comments

Wǒ zhīdào yào zěnme huífù

I know how to respond

Jiùshì kěnéng nǐmen liú gěi wǒ yī gè zhèngmiàn de liúyán

Like when you leave me a positive comment

Ránhòu (wǒ) shuō “ā xièxie nǐmen”

Then I say, "Ah, thank you!"

“Zhēnde hěn gǎnxiè”

"Really appreciate it"

“Hěn kāixīn nǐmen xǐhuān a”

"So glad you liked it"

“Hěn kāixīn zhèxiē yǐngpiàn duì nǐmen yǒu bāngzhù”

"I'm glad these videos helped you"

Kěshì rúguǒ yùdào yǒurén pīpíng shuō

But if (I) encounter someone criticizes and says

“Nǐ zuò de zhège fāngshì tài wúliáo le”

"The way you did this is too boring"

“Zhège zěnme suàn shì yī zhǒng kè ne”

"How is this even considered a lesson?"

“Nǐ zhēnde shì Táiwān rén ma”

"Are you really Taiwanese?"

“Nǐ jiǎng le 'shìpín' ye”

"You said 'shìpín' (Mainland Chinese word for video)!"

Jiù tūrán juéde

Then I suddenly felt…

Wǒ xiǎng yào jiěshì ma

Do I want to explain?

Wǒ xūyào jiěshì ma

Do I need to explain?

ránhòu hǎoxiàng tūrán zài xiǎng

and then felt like all of a sudden (i) was thinking

wǒ yào chéngwéi shenmeyàng de rén ne

what kind of person was i gonna be

zài miànduì fùmiàn de  huíkuì de shíhòu

when facing negative feedback

Jiùshì dāngrán xiǎng yào hǎohǎo de sīkǎo hé huífù

Of course, I wanted to think carefully and respond properly.

Kěshì hǎoxiàng yǒudiǎn nánguò

But (i) kind of felt sad.

Ránhòu wǒ bù tài shàncháng huífù biérén de pīpíng

And I'm not so good at responding to other people's criticism.

Huòzhě miànduì biérén de pīpíng

Or facing other people's criticism.

Suǒyǐ

So...

Wǒ zhīdào zhè shì jiùshì bǎifēnzhī yī cái yǒu zhège qíngkuàng

I know this is just one percent of the cases.

Érqiě kěnéng

Plus maybe...

Jiùshì wǒ juéde wǒ yǐjīng shì yùnqì hěn hǎo le

Just I feel like I've already been very lucky.

Wǒ juéde yǒu hěn duō

I think there are many...

Wǒ hěn qīnpèi de rén a

People I really admire.

Wǒ hěn pèifú de rén

People I really look up to

Tāmen kěnéng zài wǎnglù shàng de suānmín duō gèng duō a

They may get way more online trolls/haters

Kěnéng jǐ qiān gè jǐ wàn gè fùmiàn de liúyán

Maybe thousands or tens of thousands of negative comments.

Wǒ juéde jiùshì

I just felt like...

Hǎoxiàng nèizài jiàzhí xūyào hěn qiáng cái kěyǐ miànduì

It seems like your inner values need to be strong to face that.

Cái kěyǐ zhīdào zěnme miànduì

Only then can you know how to deal with it.

Huòzhě shì gěi chū yīgè hěn witty de yīgè huíyìng

Or give a very witty response.

Kěshì wǒ juéde (wǒ) hái méi bànfǎ

But I feel like I still am not able to do that.

Wǒ juéde wǒ de xīnlǐ háishì

I feel like in my heart, I'm still...

Jiùshì zhè jǐ nián qíshí

Just, in the past few years, actually…

Wǒ yě yīzhí zài bǐjiào guānzhù wǒ de xīnlǐ jiànkāng

I've also been paying more attention to my mental health.

Suīrán wǒ juéde wǒ hǎoxiàng guòdù gōngzuò le

Even though I feel like I've overworked myself.

Dào xiànzài háishì yǒu yīdiǎn

Even now, it's still kind of like that.

Kěshì jiùshì wǒ xiǎng yào bǎ zìjǐ de zhuàngtài tiáozhěng hǎo

But I just want to get/adjust myself into a better state.

Dào yī gè chéngdù yǐhòu ránhòu

to reach a certain point/level, then...

Cái kěnéng jiù juéde

Then maybe it’s possible to feel like...

Wǒ xiànzài zhōngyú zhǔnbèi hǎo le

I’m finally ready now.

Ránhòu kěyǐ jìxù zài YouTube shàngmiàn zuò yīxiē yǐngpiàn a

And then I can continue making some videos on YouTube.

Fēnxiǎng yīxiē nèiróng

Share some content.

Gēn bù rènshi de rén hùdòng

Interact with people I don’t know.

Suǒyǐ xiànzài kěnéng bǐ zhīqián gèng jìnle yīdiǎn

So now I might be a bit closer than before.

Kěshì háishì yǒudiǎn kěpà

But it’s still a bit scary.

Wǒ qùnián yǒu xūyào lù yīgè yǐngpiàn

Last year I had to record a video.

Jiùshì fàng zài yīgè gōngkāi de píngtái

To put on a public platform.

Jièshào wǒ zuò de yīgè jiàoxué de chǎnpǐn

To introduce an educational product I made.

Huòzhě shì suàn shì cáiliào

Or you could call it materials.

Ránhòu zhège gōngsī tāmen qǐng wǒ lù de yīgè jièshào yǐngpiàn

And the company asked me to record an introduction video.

Ránhòu wǒ fāxiàn zìjǐ gǎnjué hěn kǒnghuāng

Then I realized I felt panicked.

Juéde wǒ hǎoxiàng xūyào

I felt like I needed to...

Liǎn shàng duī mǎnle xiàoróng

...plaster/pile big smiles on my face.

Yīnwèi qíshí wǒ yǐqián

Because actually, in the past,

Kěnéng wǒ shàngchuán de yǐngpiàn

Maybe (in) the videos I uploaded

Mùqián dōu shì

So far have mostly been

Kěnéng wǒ ànle kāishǐ, ránhòu shuō

Maybe I pressed record and then said,

“Hāi dàjiā hǎo”

“Hi everyone!”

Jiù juéde hǎoxiàng wǒ zìjǐ xūyào zhèyàngzi zuò

It just felt like I needed to do it that way.

Hǎoxiàng yīnggāi yào huàzhuāng

Like I should wear makeup.

Guāngxiàn yào yòng de hěn wánměi a

The lighting needed to be perfect and all that.

Ránhòu shénme de

And so on.

Ránhòu wǒ fàngle

And then I set up/put

Yǐqián wǒ jiù fàngle yīgè yuánxíng de nàge ring light

Before, I would place a circular ring light.

Right in front of my face like that.

Dǎzhe wǒ

Shining on me. (sorry for looking so dramatic. i feel awkward now.)

Wǒ de liǎn, wǒ de yǎnjīng

My face, my eyes.

Ránhòu zhèxiē dōu ràng wǒ juéde hěn jiāolǜ

And all of this made me feel very anxious.

Suǒyǐ wǒ juéde hǎoxiàng

So I feel like

Bǎ zìjǐ lù qǐlái shì yī jiàn

Recording myself is something that

Hái méiyǒu ràng wǒ juéde zìzài de shìqíng

Still haven’t made me feel at ease

Kěshì jīntiān jiù juéde bǐjiào chill

But today I feel a bit more chill.

Juéde kěyǐ shì shìkàn

Feel like I can give it a try.

Bǐjiào zìrán de zài jiǎnghuà

Speak a bit more naturally.

Méiyǒu tèbié duī mǎn xiàoróng

Not especially piling on a big smile.

Méiyǒu tèbié tīng qǐlái hěn huópō

Not especialy sounding very bubbly.

Yīnwèi qíshí wǒ píngcháng jiǎnghuà jiùshì

Because actually, I usually talk like this.

Kěnéng méiyǒu tīng qǐlái tèbié yǒu jīngshén

Maybe doesn’t sound especially energetic.

Bùguò kěnéng shuìjiào de shíhòu nǐmen kěyǐ tīng

But maybe you can listen when you’re falling asleep.

Lái bāngzhù nǐmen shuìjiào

To help you fall asleep.

Wǒ bù zhīdào

I don’t know.

xiān zhèyàng

That’s it for now.

Hāi! Hǎo jiǔ bú jiàn

Xīwàng nǐmen dōu hǎo

Xiǎng shuō kěyǐ gēngxīn yīxià

Kěnéng jiù bǎ wèishénme wǒ zuìjìn dōu méiyǒu PO yǐngpiàn le

Biàn chéng yī táng zhōngjí de Zhōngwén kè

Yīnwèi... qíshí yǒu liǎng gè yuányīn a

Jiùshì zhǔyào shì wǒ juéde wǒ de gōngzuò yǒudiǎn máng

Jiùshì bù zhīdào nǐmen zhī bù zhīdào

Wǒ yīzhí dōu shì zài shàng yī duì yī de kè

Ránhòu suàn shì wǒ de quánzhí gōngzuò

Wǒ jiùshì yīzhí zhuànqián

Juéde zhuànqián hěn zhòngyào

Jiùshì yīzhí shàng hěn duō de yī duì yī de kè

Suǒyǐ qíshí chángcháng zài gōngzuò wài de shíjiān

Juéde méiyǒu nàme duō de jīngshén kěyǐ... chuàngzuò

búguò zhège gǎnjué yě yǒu kěnéng shì yī gè jièkǒu la

Kěshì zhēnde yǒu yībùfèn de yuányīn shì yīnwèi zhège

Kěshì wǒ juéde zuì dà de yuányīn jiùshì

Wǒ hòulái fāxiàn wǒ hǎoxiàng méiyǒu zuò hǎo xīnlǐ zhǔnbèi

Bǎ zìjǐ de liǎn fàng zài yī gè nàme gōngkāi de píngtái

Hǎoxiàng jiù xūyào bèi suǒyǒu kěyǐ kàn dào wǒ de nèiróng de rén

Bèi pínglùn de gǎnjué

Juéde yǒudiǎn kěpà

Suīrán zài hěn duō dà bùfèn de yǐngpiàn la

Huòzhě shì dà bùfèn de liúyán zài wǒ de yǐngpiàn xiàmiàn

Dōu shì fēicháng gǔlì wǒ de

Fēicháng zhèngmiàn de

Wǒ juéde hěn gǎnxiè

Bùguò jiùshì kěnéng kàn guò jǐ gè liúyán ràng wǒ juéde

Tūrán juéde yǒudiǎn tài shòushāng le

Suīrán shì... jiùshì yī diǎndiǎn la

Kěnéng bǎifēn zhī yī de liúyán shì zhèyàng

Kěshì hòulái wǒ jiù fāxiàn

Zěnme bàn

Hǎoxiàng zìjǐ de xīnli juéde yǒudiǎn

Nán jiēshòu bèi mà

Jiùshì zài wǎnglù shàng bèi mà la

Wǒ juéde wǒ zìjǐ bù shì suàn shì tèbié yǒu zìxìn de rén

Gǎnjué yǒu yī fāngmiàn de zìjǐ shì hái mán méiyǒu zìxìn de

Kěshì fǎnzhèng jiùshì

Wǒ hòulái fāxiàn wǒ zhǐyǒu zài miànduì zhèngmiàn de pínglùn de shíhou

Wǒ zhīdào yào zěnme huífù

Jiùshì kěnéng nǐmen liú gěi wǒ yī gè zhèngmiàn de liúyán

Ránhòu (wǒ) shuō “ā xièxie nǐmen”

“Zhēnde hěn gǎnxiè”

“Hěn kāixīn nǐmen xǐhuān a”

“Hěn kāixīn zhèxiē yǐngpiàn duì nǐmen yǒu bāngzhù”

Kěshì rúguǒ yùdào yǒurén pīpíng shuō

“Nǐ zuò de zhège fāngshì tài wúliáo le”

“Zhège zěnme suàn shì yī zhǒng kè ne”

“Nǐ zhēnde shì Táiwān rén ma”

“Nǐ jiǎng le 'shìpín' ye”

Jiù tūrán juéde

Wǒ xiǎng yào jiěshì ma

Wǒ xūyào jiěshì ma

ránhòu hǎoxiàng tūrán zài xiǎng

wǒ yào chéngwéi shenmeyàng de rén ne

zài miànduì fùmiàn de  huíkuì de shíhòu

Jiùshì dāngrán xiǎng yào hǎohǎo de sīkǎo hé huífù

Kěshì hǎoxiàng yǒudiǎn nánguò

Ránhòu wǒ bù tài shàncháng huífù biérén de pīpíng

Huòzhě miànduì biérén de pīpíng

Suǒyǐ

Wǒ zhīdào zhè shì jiùshì bǎifēnzhī yī cái yǒu zhège qíngkuàng

Érqiě kěnéng

Jiùshì wǒ juéde wǒ yǐjīng shì yùnqì hěn hǎo le

Wǒ juéde yǒu hěn duō

Wǒ hěn qīnpèi de rén a

Wǒ hěn pèifú de rén

Tāmen kěnéng zài wǎnglù shàng de suānmín duō gèng duō a

Kěnéng jǐ qiān gè jǐ wàn gè fùmiàn de liúyán

Wǒ juéde jiùshì

Hǎoxiàng nèizài jiàzhí xūyào hěn qiáng cái kěyǐ miànduì

Cái kěyǐ zhīdào zěnme miànduì

Huòzhě shì gěi chū yīgè hěn witty de yīgè huíyìng

Kěshì wǒ juéde (wǒ) hái méi bànfǎ

Wǒ juéde wǒ de xīnlǐ háishì

Jiùshì zhè jǐ nián qíshí

Wǒ yě yīzhí zài bǐjiào guānzhù wǒ de xīnlǐ jiànkāng

Suīrán wǒ juéde wǒ hǎoxiàng guòdù gōngzuò le

Dào xiànzài háishì yǒu yīdiǎn

Kěshì jiùshì wǒ xiǎng yào bǎ zìjǐ de zhuàngtài tiáozhěng hǎo

Dào yī gè chéngdù yǐhòu ránhòu

Cái kěnéng jiù juéde

Wǒ xiànzài zhōngyú zhǔnbèi hǎo le

Ránhòu kěyǐ jìxù zài YouTube shàngmiàn zuò yīxiē yǐngpiàn a

Fēnxiǎng yīxiē nèiróng

Gēn bù rènshi de rén hùdòng

Suǒyǐ xiànzài kěnéng bǐ zhīqián gèng jìnle yīdiǎn

Kěshì háishì yǒudiǎn kěpà

Wǒ qùnián yǒu xūyào lù yīgè yǐngpiàn

Jiùshì fàng zài yīgè gōngkāi de píngtái

Jièshào wǒ zuò de yīgè jiàoxué de chǎnpǐn

Huòzhě shì suàn shì cáiliào

Ránhòu zhège gōngsī tāmen qǐng wǒ lù de yīgè jièshào yǐngpiàn

Ránhòu wǒ fāxiàn zìjǐ gǎnjué hěn kǒnghuāng

Juéde wǒ hǎoxiàng xūyào

Liǎn shàng duī mǎnle xiàoróng

Yīnwèi qíshí wǒ yǐqián

Kěnéng wǒ shàngchuán de yǐngpiàn

Mùqián dōu shì

Kěnéng wǒ ànle kāishǐ, ránhòu shuō

“Hāi dàjiā hǎo”

Jiù juéde hǎoxiàng wǒ zìjǐ xūyào zhèyàngzi zuò

Hǎoxiàng yīnggāi yào huàzhuāng

Guāngxiàn yào yòng de hěn wánměi a

Ránhòu shénme de

Ránhòu wǒ fàngle

Yǐqián wǒ jiù fàngle yīgè yuánxíng de nàge ring light

Right in front of my face like that.

Dǎzhe wǒ

Wǒ de liǎn, wǒ de yǎnjīng

Ránhòu zhèxiē dōu ràng wǒ juéde hěn jiāolǜ

Suǒyǐ wǒ juéde hǎoxiàng

Bǎ zìjǐ lù qǐlái shì yī jiàn

Hái méiyǒu ràng wǒ juéde zìzài de shìqíng

Kěshì jīntiān jiù juéde bǐjiào chill

Juéde kěyǐ shì shìkàn

Bǐjiào zìrán de zài jiǎnghuà

Méiyǒu tèbié duī mǎn xiàoróng

Méiyǒu tèbié tīng qǐlái hěn huópō

Yīnwèi qíshí wǒ píngcháng jiǎnghuà jiùshì

Kěnéng méiyǒu tīng qǐlái tèbié yǒu jīngshén

Bùguò kěnéng shuìjiào de shíhòu nǐmen kěyǐ tīng

Lái bāngzhù nǐmen shuìjiào

Wǒ bù zhīdào

xiān zhèyàng

嗨！好久不见

嗨！好久不見

Hāi! Hǎo jiǔ bú jiàn

Hi! Long time no see

希望你们都好

希望你們都好

Xīwàng nǐmen dōu hǎo

Hope you’re all doing well

想说可以更新一下

想說可以更新一下

Xiǎng shuō kěyǐ gēngxīn yīxià

Thought that I could give a quick update

可能就把为什么我最近都没有PO影片了

可能就把為什麼我最近都沒有PO影片了

Kěnéng jiù bǎ wèishénme wǒ zuìjìn dōu méiyǒu PO yǐngpiàn le

Maybe explain why I haven’t posted videos lately

变成一堂中级的中文课

變成一堂中級的中文課

Biàn chéng yī táng zhōngjí de Zhōngwén kè

Turn it into an intermediate Chinese lesson

因为... 其实有两个原因啊

因為... 其實有兩個原因啊

Yīnwèi... qíshí yǒu liǎng gè yuányīn a

Because... actually, there are two reasons

就是主要是我觉得我的工作有点忙

就是主要是我覺得我的工作有點忙

Jiùshì zhǔyào shì wǒ juéde wǒ de gōngzuò yǒudiǎn máng

Mainly because I think my work has been a bit busy

就是不知道你们知不知道

就是不知道你們知不知道

Jiùshì bù zhīdào nǐmen zhī bù zhīdào

Just.. I’m not sure if you know

我一直都是在上一对一的课

我一直都是在上一對一的課

Wǒ yīzhí dōu shì zài shàng yī duì yī de kè

I’ve been teaching one-on-one classes

然后算是我的全职工作

然後算是我的全職工作

Ránhòu suàn shì wǒ de quánzhí gōngzuò

And that’s basically my full-time job

我就是一直赚钱

我就是一直賺錢

Wǒ jiùshì yīzhí zhuànqián

I just kept (working to) make money

觉得赚钱很重要

覺得賺錢很重要

Juéde zhuànqián hěn zhòngyào

thought that making money is important

就是一直上很多的一对一的课

就是一直上很多的一對一的課

Jiùshì yīzhí shàng hěn duō de yī duì yī de kè

Just kept doing a lot of one-on-one classes

所以其实常常在工作外的时间

所以其實常常在工作外的時間

Suǒyǐ qíshí chángcháng zài gōngzuò wài de shíjiān

So actually, often outside of work hours

觉得没有那么多的精神可以... 创作

覺得沒有那麼多的精神可以... 創作

Juéde méiyǒu nàme duō de jīngshén kěyǐ... chuàngzuò

felt that I didn’t have that much energy to… create

不过这个感觉也有可能是一个借口啦

不過這個感覺也有可能是一個藉口啦

búguò zhège gǎnjué yě yǒu kěnéng shì yī gè jièkǒu la

However, this feeling maybe is just an excuse

可是真的有一部分的原因是因为这个

可是真的有一部分的原因是因為這個

Kěshì zhēnde yǒu yībùfèn de yuányīn shì yīnwèi zhège

But really part of the reason is this

可是我觉得最大的原因就是

可是我覺得最大的原因就是

Kěshì wǒ juéde zuì dà de yuányīn jiùshì

But I think the biggest reason is

我后来发现我好像没有做好心理准备

我後來發現我好像沒有做好心理準備

Wǒ hòulái fāxiàn wǒ hǎoxiàng méiyǒu zuò hǎo xīnlǐ zhǔnbèi

I later on realized that it seems like I wasn’t mentally prepared

把自己的脸放在一个那么公开的平台

把自己的臉放在一個那麼公開的平台

Bǎ zìjǐ de liǎn fàng zài yī gè nàme gōngkāi de píngtái

To put my face out on such a public platform

好像就需要被所有可以看到我的内容的人

好像就需要被所有可以看到我的內容的人

Hǎoxiàng jiù xūyào bèi suǒyǒu kěyǐ kàn dào wǒ de nèiróng de rén

It’s like I need to, by everyone who can see my content,

被评论的感觉

被評論的感覺

Bèi pínglùn de gǎnjué

the feeling of being judged/commented

觉得有点可怕

覺得有點可怕

Juéde yǒudiǎn kěpà

(That) felt a bit scary

虽然在很多大部分的影片啦

雖然在很多大部分的影片啦

Suīrán zài hěn duō dà bùfèn de yǐngpiàn la

Even though in most of the videos

或者是大部分的留言在我的影片下面

或者是大部分的留言在我的影片下面

Huòzhě shì dà bùfèn de liúyán zài wǒ de yǐngpiàn xiàmiàn

Or most of the comments under my videos

都是非常鼓励我的

都是非常鼓勵我的

Dōu shì fēicháng gǔlì wǒ de

Are really encouraging

非常正面的

非常正面的

Fēicháng zhèngmiàn de

really positive

我觉得很感谢

我覺得很感謝

Wǒ juéde hěn gǎnxiè

I feel very grateful

不过就是可能看过几个留言让我觉得

不過就是可能看過幾個留言讓我覺得

Bùguò jiùshì kěnéng kàn guò jǐ gè liúyán ràng wǒ juéde

But maybe just seeing a few comments made me feel

突然觉得有一点太受伤了

突然覺得有一點太受傷了

Tūrán juéde yǒudiǎn tài shòushāng le

Suddenly felt a bit too hurt

虽然是... 就是一点点啦

雖然是... 就是一點點啦

Suīrán shì... jiùshì yī diǎndiǎn la

Even though... it’s just a tiny bit

可能百分之一的留言是这样

可能百分之一的留言是這樣

Kěnéng bǎifēn zhī yī de liúyán shì zhèyàng

Maybe only 1% of the comments are like that

可是后来我就发现

可是後來我就發現

Kěshì hòulái wǒ jiù fāxiàn

But later I just realized

怎么办

怎麼辦

Zěnme bàn

What should I do? (Ahhh)

好像自己的心里觉得有一点

好像自己的心裡覺得有一點

Hǎoxiàng zìjǐ de xīnli juéde yǒudiǎn

It felt like emotionally I felt a little

难接受被骂

難接受被罵

Nán jiēshòu bèi mà

Unable to handle being criticized

就是在网路上被骂啦

就是在網路上被罵啦

Jiùshì zài wǎnglù shàng bèi mà la

Just being criticized on the internet

我觉得我自己不是算是特别有自信的人

我覺得我自己不是算是特別有自信的人

Wǒ juéde wǒ zìjǐ bù shì suàn shì tèbié yǒu zìxìn de rén

I don’t think I’m someone with a lot of confidence

感觉有一方面的自己是还蛮没有自信的

感覺有一方面的自己是還蠻沒有自信的

Gǎnjué yǒu yī fāngmiàn de zìjǐ shì hái mán méiyǒu zìxìn de

Felt that part of me pretty much lacks confidence

可是反正就是

可是反正就是

Kěshì fǎnzhèng jiùshì

But, anyways, just that

我后来发现我只有在面对正面的评论的时候

我後來發現我只有在面對正面的評論的時候

Wǒ hòulái fāxiàn wǒ zhǐyǒu zài miànduì zhèngmiàn de pínglùn de shíhou

I later realized I only know how to respond when facing positive comments

我知道要怎么回覆

我知道要怎麼回覆

Wǒ zhīdào yào zěnme huífù

I know how to respond

就是可能你们留给我一个正面的留言

就是可能你們留給我一個正面的留言

Jiùshì kěnéng nǐmen liú gěi wǒ yī gè zhèngmiàn de liúyán

Like when you leave me a positive comment

然后（我）说 “啊谢谢你们”

然後（我）說 “啊謝謝你們”

Ránhòu (wǒ) shuō “ā xièxie nǐmen”

Then I say, "Ah, thank you!"

“真的很感谢”

“真的很感謝”

“Zhēnde hěn gǎnxiè”

"Really appreciate it"

“很开心你们喜欢啊”

“很開心你們喜歡啊”

“Hěn kāixīn nǐmen xǐhuān a”

"So glad you liked it"

“很开心这些影片对你们有帮助”

“很開心這些影片對你們有幫助”

“Hěn kāixīn zhèxiē yǐngpiàn duì nǐmen yǒu bāngzhù”

"I'm glad these videos helped you"

可是如果遇到有人批评说

可是如果遇到有人批評說

Kěshì rúguǒ yùdào yǒurén pīpíng shuō

But if (I) encounter someone criticizes and says

“你做的这个方式太无聊了”

“你做的這個方式太無聊了”

“Nǐ zuò de zhège fāngshì tài wúliáo le”

"The way you did this is too boring"

“这个怎么算是一种课呢”

“這個怎麼算是一種課呢”

“Zhège zěnme suàn shì yī zhǒng kè ne”

"How is this even considered a lesson?"

“你真的是台湾人吗”

“你真的是台灣人嗎”

“Nǐ zhēnde shì Táiwān rén ma”

"Are you really Taiwanese?"

“你讲了‘视频’耶”

“你講了‘視頻’耶”

“Nǐ jiǎng le 'shìpín' ye”

"You said 'shìpín' (Mainland Chinese word for video)!"

就突然觉得

就突然覺得

Jiù tūrán juéde

Then I suddenly felt…

我想要解释吗

我想要解釋嗎

Wǒ xiǎng yào jiěshì ma

Do I want to explain?

我需要解释吗

我需要解釋嗎

Wǒ xūyào jiěshì ma

Do I need to explain?

然后好像突然在想

然後好像突然在想

ránhòu hǎoxiàng tūrán zài xiǎng

and then felt like all of a sudden (i) was thinking

我要成为什么样的人呢

我要成為什麼樣的人呢

wǒ yào chéngwéi shenmeyàng de rén ne

what kind of person was i gonna be

在面对负面的回馈的时候

在面對負面的回饋的時候

zài miànduì fùmiàn de  huíkuì de shíhòu

when facing negative feedback

就是当然想要好好的思考和回覆

就是當然想要好好的思考和回覆

Jiùshì dāngrán xiǎng yào hǎohǎo de sīkǎo hé huífù

Of course, I wanted to think carefully and respond properly.

可是好像有点难过

可是好像有點難過

Kěshì hǎoxiàng yǒudiǎn nánguò

But (i) kind of felt sad.

然后我不太擅长回覆别人的批评

然後我不太擅長回覆別人的批評

Ránhòu wǒ bù tài shàncháng huífù biérén de pīpíng

And I'm not so good at responding to other people's criticism.

或者面对别人的批评

或者面對別人的批評

Huòzhě miànduì biérén de pīpíng

Or facing other people's criticism.

所以

所以

Suǒyǐ

So...

我知道 这是 就是百分之一才有这个情况

我知道 這是 就是百分之一才有這個情況

Wǒ zhīdào zhè shì jiùshì bǎifēnzhī yī cái yǒu zhège qíngkuàng

I know this is just one percent of the cases.

而且可能

而且可能

Érqiě kěnéng

Plus maybe...

就是我觉得我已经是运气很好了

就是我覺得我已經是運氣很好了

Jiùshì wǒ juéde wǒ yǐjīng shì yùnqì hěn hǎo le

Just I feel like I've already been very lucky.

我觉得有很多

我覺得有很多

Wǒ juéde yǒu hěn duō

I think there are many...

我很钦佩的人啊

我很欽佩的人啊

Wǒ hěn qīnpèi de rén a

People I really admire.

我很佩服的人

我很佩服的人

Wǒ hěn pèifú de rén

People I really look up to

他们可能在网路上的酸民多更多啊

他們可能在網路上的酸民多更多啊

Tāmen kěnéng zài wǎnglù shàng de suānmín duō gèng duō a

They may get way more online trolls/haters

可能几千个几万个负面的留言

可能幾千個幾萬個負面的留言

Kěnéng jǐ qiān gè jǐ wàn gè fùmiàn de liúyán

Maybe thousands or tens of thousands of negative comments.

我觉得就是

我覺得就是

Wǒ juéde jiùshì

I just felt like...

好像内在价值需要很强才可以面对

好像內在價值需要很強才可以面對

Hǎoxiàng nèizài jiàzhí xūyào hěn qiáng cái kěyǐ miànduì

It seems like your inner values need to be strong to face that.

才可以知道怎么面对

才可以知道怎麼面對

Cái kěyǐ zhīdào zěnme miànduì

Only then can you know how to deal with it.

或者是给出一个很witty的一个回应

或者是給出一個很witty的一個回應

Huòzhě shì gěi chū yīgè hěn witty de yīgè huíyìng

Or give a very witty response.

可是我觉得（我）还没办法

可是我覺得（我）還沒辦法

Kěshì wǒ juéde (wǒ) hái méi bànfǎ

But I feel like I still am not able to do that.

我觉得我的心里还是

我覺得我的心裡還是

Wǒ juéde wǒ de xīnlǐ háishì

I feel like in my heart, I'm still...

就是这几年其实

就是這幾年其實

Jiùshì zhè jǐ nián qíshí

Just, in the past few years, actually…

我也一直在比较关注我的心理健康

我也一直在比較關注我的心理健康

Wǒ yě yīzhí zài bǐjiào guānzhù wǒ de xīnlǐ jiànkāng

I've also been paying more attention to my mental health.

虽然我觉得我好像过度工作了

雖然我覺得我好像過度工作了

Suīrán wǒ juéde wǒ hǎoxiàng guòdù gōngzuò le

Even though I feel like I've overworked myself.

到现在还是有一点

到現在還是有一點

Dào xiànzài háishì yǒu yīdiǎn

Even now, it's still kind of like that.

可是就是我想要把自己的状态调整好

可是就是我想要把自己的狀態調整好

Kěshì jiùshì wǒ xiǎng yào bǎ zìjǐ de zhuàngtài tiáozhěng hǎo

But I just want to get/adjust myself into a better state.

到一个程度以后然后

到一個程度以後然後

Dào yī gè chéngdù yǐhòu ránhòu

to reach a certain point/level, then...

才可能就觉得

才可能就覺得

Cái kěnéng jiù juéde

Then maybe it’s possible to feel like...

我现在终于准备好了

我現在終於準備好了

Wǒ xiànzài zhōngyú zhǔnbèi hǎo le

I’m finally ready now.

然后可以继续在YouTube上面做一些影片啊

然後可以繼續在YouTube上面做一些影片啊

Ránhòu kěyǐ jìxù zài YouTube shàngmiàn zuò yīxiē yǐngpiàn a

And then I can continue making some videos on YouTube.

分享一些内容

分享一些內容

Fēnxiǎng yīxiē nèiróng

Share some content.

跟不认识的人互动

跟不認識的人互動

Gēn bù rènshi de rén hùdòng

Interact with people I don’t know.

所以现在可能比之前更近了一点

所以現在可能比之前更近了一點

Suǒyǐ xiànzài kěnéng bǐ zhīqián gèng jìnle yīdiǎn

So now I might be a bit closer than before.

可是还是有点可怕

可是還是有點可怕

Kěshì háishì yǒudiǎn kěpà

But it’s still a bit scary.

我去年有需要录一个影片

我去年有需要錄一個影片

Wǒ qùnián yǒu xūyào lù yīgè yǐngpiàn

Last year I had to record a video.

就是放在一个公开的平台

就是放在一個公開的平台

Jiùshì fàng zài yīgè gōngkāi de píngtái

To put on a public platform.

介绍我做的一个教学的产品

介紹我做的一個教學的產品

Jièshào wǒ zuò de yīgè jiàoxué de chǎnpǐn

To introduce an educational product I made.

或者是算是材料

或者是算是材料

Huòzhě shì suàn shì cáiliào

Or you could call it materials.

然后这个公司他们请我录的一个介绍影片

然後這個公司他們請我錄的一個介紹影片

Ránhòu zhège gōngsī tāmen qǐng wǒ lù de yīgè jièshào yǐngpiàn

And the company asked me to record an introduction video.

然后我发现自己感觉很恐慌

然後我發現自己感覺很恐慌

Ránhòu wǒ fāxiàn zìjǐ gǎnjué hěn kǒnghuāng

Then I realized I felt panicked.

觉得我好像需要

覺得我好像需要

Juéde wǒ hǎoxiàng xūyào

I felt like I needed to...

脸上堆满了笑容

臉上堆滿了笑容

Liǎn shàng duī mǎnle xiàoróng

...plaster/pile big smiles on my face.

因为其实我以前

因為其實我以前

Yīnwèi qíshí wǒ yǐqián

Because actually, in the past,

可能我上传的影片

可能我上傳的影片

Kěnéng wǒ shàngchuán de yǐngpiàn

Maybe (in) the videos I uploaded

目前都是

目前都是

Mùqián dōu shì

So far have mostly been

可能我按了开始，然后说

可能我按了開始，然後說

Kěnéng wǒ ànle kāishǐ, ránhòu shuō

Maybe I pressed record and then said,

“嗨大家好”

“嗨大家好”

“Hāi dàjiā hǎo”

“Hi everyone!”

就觉得好像 我自己需要这样子做

就覺得好像 我自己需要這樣子做

Jiù juéde hǎoxiàng wǒ zìjǐ xūyào zhèyàngzi zuò

It just felt like I needed to do it that way.

好像应该要化妆

好像應該要化妝

Hǎoxiàng yīnggāi yào huàzhuāng

Like I should wear makeup.

光线要用得很完美啊

光線要用得很完美啊

Guāngxiàn yào yòng de hěn wánměi a

The lighting needed to be perfect and all that.

然后什么的

然後什麼的

Ránhòu shénme de

And so on.

然后我放了

然後我放了

Ránhòu wǒ fàngle

And then I set up/put

以前我就放了一个圆形的那个 ring light

以前我就放了一個圓形的那個 ring light

Yǐqián wǒ jiù fàngle yīgè yuánxíng de nàge ring light

Before, I would place a circular ring light.

就放在我的臉的前面這樣子

Jiù fàng zài wǒ de liǎn de qiánmiàn zhèyàngzi

Right in front of my face like that.

打着我

打著我

Dǎzhe wǒ

Shining on me. (sorry for looking so dramatic. i feel awkward now.)

我的脸、我的眼睛

我的臉、我的眼睛

Wǒ de liǎn, wǒ de yǎnjīng

My face, my eyes.

然后这些都让我觉得很焦虑

然後這些都讓我覺得很焦慮

Ránhòu zhèxiē dōu ràng wǒ juéde hěn jiāolǜ

And all of this made me feel very anxious.

所以我觉得好像

所以我覺得好像

Suǒyǐ wǒ juéde hǎoxiàng

So I feel like

把自己录起来是一件

把自己錄起來是一件

Bǎ zìjǐ lù qǐlái shì yī jiàn

Recording myself is something that

还没有让我觉得自在的事情

還沒有讓我覺得自在的事情

Hái méiyǒu ràng wǒ juéde zìzài de shìqíng

Still haven’t made me feel at ease

可是今天就觉得比较chill

可是今天就覺得比較chill

Kěshì jīntiān jiù juéde bǐjiào chill

But today I feel a bit more chill.

觉得可以试试看

覺得可以試試看

Juéde kěyǐ shì shìkàn

Feel like I can give it a try.

比较自然地在讲话

比較自然地在講話

Bǐjiào zìrán de zài jiǎnghuà

Speak a bit more naturally.

没有特别堆满笑容

沒有特別堆滿笑容

Méiyǒu tèbié duī mǎn xiàoróng

Not especially piling on a big smile.

没有特别听起来很活泼

沒有特別聽起來很活潑

Méiyǒu tèbié tīng qǐlái hěn huópō

Not especialy sounding very bubbly.

因为其实我平常讲话就是

因為其實我平常講話就是

Yīnwèi qíshí wǒ píngcháng jiǎnghuà jiùshì

Because actually, I usually talk like this.

可能没有听起来特别有精神

可能沒有聽起來特別有精神

Kěnéng méiyǒu tīng qǐlái tèbié yǒu jīngshén

Maybe doesn’t sound especially energetic.

不过可能睡觉的时候你们可以听

不過可能睡覺的時候你們可以聽

Bùguò kěnéng shuìjiào de shíhòu nǐmen kěyǐ tīng

But maybe you can listen when you’re falling asleep.

来帮助你们睡觉

來幫助你們睡覺

Lái bāngzhù nǐmen shuìjiào

To help you fall asleep.

我不知道

我不知道

Wǒ bù zhīdào

I don’t know.

先這樣

Xiān zhèyàng

That’s it for now.